Jews, would you consider me Jewish, and what would you advise I tell my rabbi, if anything about my atheism?

I think it's a bit disrespectful that you've wasted so many people's time (no offense), but I don't think it's horrible or anything. And yes, once a Jew, always a Jew. And Orthodox and Charedim are sexist, offensive and insane; they care more about the Torah than they do about G-d.